LESSON TWELVE

Objective

Roll With It

Example

This morning I was awakened at 6:30 by a frantic pounding at my window.
On school days my neighbor goes to work really early, so her boys come over and stare at the television without speaking until the school bus comes. This has been our routine for years. They knock, I answer and they shuffle in wordlessly, sometimes taking offerings of food but mostly just becoming immobile pieces of furniture on the sofa.
When the knocking began I assumed they had gotten confused, like small animals after the change of seasons who sometimes wander out of their burrows into the snow when they should be sleeping.
Instead I found my teenage daughter blinking rapidly in the sunlight. "Everybody locked me out." she said.
And that is when I remembered my vow of spontaneity this weekend and the reason my daughter was coming home sleepless early in the morning.

I've been lamenting my organized weekends so my buddies (we're "like this" man) over at Dad Blogs have been suggesting that I stop "planning " things. One suggested I be a catalyst for good times and not the organizer.

Hmph.

Catalyst like catalytic converter...like flux capacitor?! See I talk dad.

Now I am trying to walk it.

So this weekend Spontaneity was my game. I just let the kids dictate. So we played musical soccer (This was my son's idea, and sometimes I wonder if his future doesn't include h'orderves.) And we danced.
And then just to get our testosterone flowing we played "hunter" which meant that we took turns being animals (Picture a deer with hand antlers) and shooting each other. Isabel was the most bloodthirsty... if you can remember that scene in T2 where Linda Hamilton is doing the one handed cocking and shooting thing at the Terminator, you've got a pretty clear picture of my youngest daughter.
And we had pillow fights and played tag and ran in the yards...and all sorts of kid stuff.
Fallon's boyfriend graduated from high school in the middle of all this unchecked play and so we dusted ourselves off and watched him walk in his cap and gown (Graduations by the way are totally boring, especially for two momdad weekend kids in go mode.) After the graduation Fallon was invited to go on a school sponsored trip to a neighboring town for the whole night. The plan was that they would all play arcade games, (or what ever they call them these days) and swim, and hang out without sleeping, and be returned safely the next morning at 6:30.
Fallon's a good kid...and so is her boyfriend and, well, the school chaperones watch the kids with the attentiveness of hyenas waiting for their turn...and most of all I Am Spontaneous... So I let her go. And she came back safe (although I suspect and energy drink or two) and whole, and happy.

I learned two things ...kids will do a whole lot more given free reign than you could ever schedule for them...and it's a lot more fun to just let the moment take you...even if it takes you to musical soccer and brings you home sleepless the next morning.

Homework

Let your children take the lead. This could be as simple as following a drawing they are doing. (My three year old loves this game, when I imitate what she is doing it makes her feel important.), or you could just let them dictate the day. You might be surprised by how much fun they really are without your interference.

Extra Credit

Have another house key made.